Days six through eight

Sorry, I definitely let the blog slip over the weekend! I am down 7.4 pounds, and I am PROUD to report that I have not cheated (except for one time) at all! I attribute this a lot to my husband, who has been staying strong on this diet plan with me and refuses to allow me to cheat. For example, I was REALLY tempted to get just a tiny little bag of popcorn when we went to see "Godzilla" this weekend, and he put his foot down and said if we cheated now, it would open the floodgates. I guess that's true. It's very nice to have someone resisting temptations with me.

The one time I cheated was when I had a finger-dip of vanilla icing (I know, I know, I said I was going to toss the tub of icing, but I didn't do it in time). However, after having that finger dip, I still was not fulfilled. The icing tasted a little chemical-y, very saccharine sweet, and made my mouth feel like it had a film for the next few hours. I tossed the tub after that, and I learned that sometimes the things we think will taste so good aren't as fulfilling as we hoped.

Anyway, here's the plan for the last few days and today:

DAY 6 

• Breakfast- Scrambled egg & pear

• Snack: Pineapple, orange, grape salad

• Lunch- Grilled chicken w/ veggies & brown rice

• Snack- Pineapple, orange, grape salad

• Dinner- Stir fried brown rice with chicken and veggies (light on the oil)

DAY 7 

• Breakfast- Omlette w/ salsa

• Snack - Leftover fruits/veggies

• Lunch- Rotisserie chicken & leftover veggies

• Snack - Cinnamon oatmeal

• Dinner- Zucchini turkey burger w/ beans

DAY 8 

• Breakfast- Boiled egg

• Snack- Banana w/ peanut butter

• Lunch- Sliced turkey breast w/ baby carrots

• Snack: Apple w/ nuts

• Dinner- Slow cooker rotisserie chicken with gravy, brown rice, and oven roasted asparagus

My husband and I went for a walk on Saturday and took a bike ride on Sunday at Gibson Park, a beautiful greenway near our house. The bike ride was much harder than the walk, and I got winded very easily. I had to walk the bike up the hill a few times, and Henry barely even broke a sweat! I just think we need to exercise separately because I feel like he doesn't challenge himself as much when he works out with me because I am an out-of-shape wimp. I did Debbie Siebers' "Slim in 6" video again today and found that I had a little bit of an easier time completing the exercises. I can't wait until I stop being sore from exercising!

Also, I have been having less sugar "crashes," in the afternoons. This is really helpful with being able to get things done in the afternoons, and I'm happy that my body seems to be adjusting to getting more natural sugars from fruits and veggies rather than from processed foods.

Thought of the Day(s)

After Jesus was fasting for 40 days and was hungry, the enemy comes to him and tempts him to turn stones into bread. Then, Matthew 4:4 says, "Jesus answered, 'Man shall not live by bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God."

I need to remember these words, particularly as I am restricting my diet for the next few days. I may be hungry or I may feel deprived from the foods that I enjoy, but I need to remember that physical food is nothing more than sustenance for my body, and that I need to optimize how I am sustaining my body. What is better? 200 calories worth of veggies and fruits, or 200 calories worth of potato chips (see picture below). Furthermore, I need to remember that the true "bread" of life is found spiritually, not physically. I should pray that I hunger more for God's word and for a relationship with him, rather than focusing my thoughts on my next meal or on the crazy-good things I will eat when I'm done with this diet. Those thoughts do not bring me life like spiritual growth will. So, I should not be tempted to live by bread alone, even though I am hungry and craving actual bread at this time. I am a whole person, and to be whole I must feed my physical needs, emotional/psychological needs, AND my spiritual needs.

(200 calories of different foods)

Day five

Down 6.6 pounds today. If the old saying is true--that the first six pounds are just water weight--I have officially reached the end of my water weight. Now, I'm expecting to lose pounds much less quickly. As I've learned on other diet programs and from putzing around on the internet, the goal should be to lose between 1 to 1.5 pounds per week. So, that's my goal.

Here's the plan for today:

DAY 5

• Breakfast- Advocare shake

• Snack - 1/2 banana w/ peanut butter

• Lunch- Sliced turkey w/ baby carrotshhh

• Snack- 1/2 banana w/ peanut butter

• Dinner- Grilled chicken w/ steamed broccoli 

I took a break from exercising today. After doing the "Biggest Loser" CardioMax video at home yesterday, I feel like a strained my back, or at least there a muscles in my back that are painfully sore when I do anything. I also woke up last night because my arms were sore. So, I'm going to take a break. Maybe I will go on a walk with my husband this afternoon...take it easy.

Thought of the day

Psalm 106:14 says, "But they had wonton craving in the wilderness, and put God to the test in ther desert." Other translations say that "They gave in to their cravings" and "tempted God."

Psalm 106 recounts what God has done for his people, and describes the people's response. It describes the Israelites crossing the Red Sea and then entering the wilderness. And, despite the fact that this mass of people witnessed a sea being parted before them so they could cross safely, they still had little faith and they still tempted God.

What does it mean to tempt God? As this page shows, tempting God could mean many things. It could be sinning with the expectation that God will forgive you, doing foolish things with the attitude that he has to save you, testing God because of your doubt or unbelief (e.g., "If you exist, give me a sign"), or trying to make God do things that are in accordance with your own will or desires. In Psalm 106:14, the Israelites made demands for food in ways that tempted God. They doubted that he would provide, they tested his faithfulness, and the asked him to do things that were their own desires rather than God's sovereign plan.

I have been struggling with cravings today and yesterday. I am certainly tempted to feel like I am in a desert wasteland in terms of food--nothing but fruits, veggies, and lean meats! No bread, no cheese, no sugar. I have so far managed to resist being tempted by foods and drinks I shouldn't have. I have been wanting to "cheat," thinking to myself, "One cheating meal won't make a difference," or, "I can make up for it later." But I think I need to remember that God is faithful and I should not tempt him to "save me" from even one meal in which I give in to my desires to have a biscuit or run out and get fast food.

Day four

I'm down 5.1 pounds today. Here's the plan for the day:

DAY 4

• Breakfast- Advocare shake

• Snack - 1/2 Banana with peanut butter

• Lunch- Ground turkey taco meat in lettuce wrap (leftover), grapes

• Snack- Pear

• Dinner- Baked cod & veggies

I am glad to be less sore today than I was yesterday, especially after my workout yesterday. I still tried to workout using the "Biggest Loser" CardioMax video, despite my soreness. 

Thought of the Day

Day two

Down 3 pounds this morning--all water-weight, I'm sure. What's the rule? First 6 pounds are water weight? Probably from the intestinal distress caused by that fiber drink yesterday. Wow buddy, lots fiber does a number on you!

I didn't have the meal replacement shake for breakfast this morning since we are trying to save them for the 14 days after the cleanse. We had 2 boiled eggs and some steel-cut, old fashioned oatmeal instead. This was a surprisingly quick breakfast, and I think it would be easy to do if I just remember to prepare boiled eggs ahead of time!

I still felt pretty crappy this afternoon, possibly from a sugar withdrawal (see previous post). I hope whatever is going on is passing. Maybe this is part of the cleansing process? Anyway, here's the plan for today:

DAY 2

• Breakfast- Two boiled eggs & old fashioned oatmeal
• Snack- Apple
• Lunch- Grilled chicken w/ brown rice (leftovers) and baby carrots
• Snack- Dry roasted edemame 
• Dinner- Garlic salmon w/ brown rice and salad w/ salsa dressing (tomato, onion, cucumber, garlic, avocado)

I got hungry throughout the day yesterday, and I found today that drinking lots of water fills me up and makes me feel less of the hunger for a while. Plus, I think this is good for helping me avoid kidney stones. I have had 3 kidney stones, and 2 were removed surgically. I would LOVE to not have to go through that (and pay for that) again, and hydration is the #1 way I can do that!

For exercise, I walked 2.5 miles briskly with lots of hills. I did this because I am really sore from completing the Jillian Micheals' 30-day Shred yesterday. That workout is killer and I really need to make sure I stretch afterwards! 

Thought of the Day:

Another one from 1 Corinthians, 10:31 this time. It says, "So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

There's an exercise I sometimes do when reading Bible verses. I go through and try to emphasize different key words throughout the verse I am studying. I have found that sometimes emphasizing different words highlights all the meanings of the verse. In this verse, if I emphasize "whatever," the verse tells me that even the smallest actions (like eating and drinking) should be done for God's glory. It tells us that there isn't one thing we should do that DOESN'T bring him glory. Next, emphasize "glory," and we learn that everything should be done to glorify him. The dictionary defines glory as "high renown or honor won by notable achievements," "magnificence or great beauty," or, "take great pride or pleasure in." Do I take pride in God and the body he has given me when I eat a chicken biscuit and fries? I don't think so. I should be doing things not to win his love or earn his forgiveness, but to simply magnify and make great the beauty of what he has done for me through Jesus. Finally, emphasize "God." When we do this we learn that everything we do (even eating and drinking) should be done for God's glory, and not for our own glory or desires or for anyone else's. So, I shouldn't be tempted to make my weight-loss journey about my own strength, my own deserving, but about God and his weight in my life.

This begs the question: "Do my current dietary habits glorify God?" Prior to beginning this diet and exercise plan, I don't think my habits did glorify him. As I've said before, I think I tend to idolize food--It changes my mood, I seek comfort in it, etc. Therefore, when I ate food before, it was for my own desires and for my own feelings of happiness. I was seeking it sometimes above God, and that is not glorifying to him. Instead I need to acknowledge him for the blessings he has given me, including my body, food, and drink. I need to utilize these blessings in a way that makes a big deal of HIM and not my own desire to make a big deal of my food.

Sugar withdrawal!

I've been on Advocare's 24-day Challenge for 2 days now. Both afternoons, I have completely crashed! I feel tired, my tummy hurts, I get a little headache. I even drank a second "Spark" energy drink today thinking that this might fix it, but I am sitting here on the couch feeling unable to do anything! Either way, I don't feel great and I haven't felt like this when trying other diet plans like calorie counting and Weight Watchers. I have been sticking to my meal plan and eating a snack every few hours, so I don't have an explanation for why this is happening! 

I wonder if I'm having sugar withdrawals since I have cut out processed carbs and sweets? A quick Google search reveals that sugar withdrawal might be a "thing," but, then again, I hear that this is up for debate. Either way, I think that it's interesting to learn about how sugar is processed by our bodies.

I can't pinpoint if what I'm feeling is a sugar detox, but I definitely feel a lot of the symptoms that are listed in some of the images from the Google search.

 I hope this feeling goes away soon...

Day one

Today's the first day of the Advocare 10-day cleanse, the beginning portion of the Advocare "24-day challenge." I'm going to be honest--I felt like I was taking A LOT of pills this morning with all the supplements, catalysts, etc. Not to mention the 3 different types of drinks I had (Spark energy drink, fiber drink, and meal replacement shake). I was full simply after that (and it is a lot to keep track of). Anyway, here's the meal plan for today:

DAY 1

• Breakfast- Advocare shake
• Snack- Apple w/ natural peanut butter
• Lunch- Sliced turkey with baby carrots
• Snack- Orange & strawberries
• Dinner- Grilled herbed chicken (light on the olive oil) w/ steamed broccoli, grilled zucchini, and brown rice

I drank 1 gallon of water (not counting the 24 oz used this morning for the various drinks/shakes). I also exercised-- Level 1 of Jillian Michael's 30-day shred. Exercising was difficult, but I felt pretty good afterwards! I have been very tired today, however, and have felt light-headed at times. I'm not sure if it's because I wasn't eating enough, sugar withdrawals, or if it's all the supplements. Hopefully it will get better, and hopefully this will NOT be the thing I remember about this process! I need to focus on the positives!

I've prepared a big tupperware of brown rice today that we can have for lunch throughout the week as a complex carb (I know, I didn't have any complex carbs today other than for dinner!). I also prepared 2 extra chicken breasts for lunch tomorrow. I think it's good to think ahead about the meals so that I make good choices in the moment. If I know what I'm going to eat for a snack or for lunch/dinner, I'm less likely to go into the kitchen and start grazing on things that are unhealthy.

Thought of the day: 

1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may also be able to endure it."

In this passage, Paul is writing to the Corinthians, challenging their faith. He is basically saying that even though they enjoy many blessings from God, that does not mean they are immune to temptation. Isn't that true of most Americans? We are so blessed as a nation--blessed with accessible food sources, clean water, well-paying jobs, homes, steady government, etc. But, our broken nature has caused us to overlook God for of these blessings--we have come to idolize the blessings themselves, rather than worshipping God for his blessings. That is why Americans are a people of excess, and we are tempted by so many things even though we are so, so blessed! 

In my case, food is sort of an idol--I want it in excess, I want it to be decadent, I want it to be constant, it affects my mood, I turn to it during emotional times, etc. It is a HUGE temptation, but, as 1 Corinthians says, food temptation is common, and many people struggle with it (as evidenced by the obesity epidemic in the USA). I need to remember that God will not let me be tempted by food beyond my ability to resist it. So, when I'm craving some potato chips, diet Coke, or ice cream (which will inevitably happen this week), I need to remember that I am capable of resisting this! And I need to remember that, whenever I am tempted to "fall of the horse" and begin seeking comfort in food, I can escape this by relying on God. Through reflecting on Him and Jesus' victory over sin in my life, I can seek spiritual "food" rather than physical food.

Advocare 24-day Challenge - Grocery list

Tomorrow's the day! I will be beginning the 10 day cleanse of the Advocare 24-day Challenge. The premise of this diet plan is to take supplements that boost your metabolism while drinking lots of water and eating healthy. For the first 10 days, I will be taking and Herbal cleanse product, Omegaplex vitamin supplement product, and a Spark energy drink product that boosts energy and provides extra vitamins. I will also drink 1 meal-replacement shake for breakfast most days. I will also be eating as many raw fruits and veggies as possible, drinking at least 1 gallon of water per day (and only water, no diet sodas, coffee, tea, or alcohol), and eating lean meats prepared in a healthy manner. During this 10 days, I can't eat sugar (except for those in fruits/veggies), dairy, or bread. After the 10 day cleanse, I will continue for 14 days on the healthy diet with no supplements. Click here for the Advocare website.

I have heard mixed reviews about Advocare. Some say that they had long-term success, others say that they had success on the 24-days but gained all the weight back after they stopped taking supplements and following the Advocare dietary rules. To be honest, I think supplements and cleanses are mostly a crock. It could work for some people's bodies, but not others. I have never tried supplements, though, so it will be interesting to see how they make me feel and whether or not I feel they are making the weight loss process easier.

In the end, however, I feel that there is NO easy way to lose weight...the ONLY way to do it is to be conscious of what you're eating and attempt to be active. That is why I am still excited about the restrictions of the Advocare dietary recommendations for the first 10 days. Even if they don't "cleanse" my body, it will still force me to eat fresh fruits and veggies and look up healthy ways to prepare lean meats. I'm hoping this will set me on a good path of thinking about what I'm putting in my body, logging my foods, and religiously drinking water! I will also be either walking or doing a home exercise video (either Jillian Michael's 30-day Shred or Biggest Loser's CardioMax) every day.

So, I have the box of the shakes and supplements from Advocare, and I have just returned from a long, expensive trip to Wal-Mart with some good looking produce, whole grains, and lean meats.

This is my grocery list:

FRUITS/VEGGIES

Oranges

Apples

Bananas

Pineapple

Grape

Pears

Iceberg lettuce

Tomatoes

Avocado

Asparagus

Zucchini

Squash

Broccoli

Onion

Corn

Garlic

PROTEINS

Salmon

Chicken breasts (8)

Rotisserie chicken

Cod

Sliced chicken/turkey (from deli)

Eggs or Eggbeaters

Ground Turkey meat (x3)

SIDES

Whole grain brown rice

Steel cut oatmeal

Black beans

Pinto Beans

OTHER

2 gallon jugs water

Rotel

Tomato Paste

Taco seasoning

NATURAL peanut butter

Nuts

chicken broth

Dear Hannah (myself)...

Dear Hannah (myself),

As of this morning, May 9, 2014, you weigh 202.6 pounds. Did you ever think you would get to this point? In high school, you thought you were fat; bigger than the other girls. You were a size 8, and you said, "If I stay this size forever, I think I will be ok." Remember what you looked like?

Can you even believe that you thought you were fat? What would you give to look like that now? More importantly, what would you give to feel like that now? You don't even know what you wieghed because you never weighed yourself--You never worried about it! Look how vital you looked, look how your clothes fit, and look at how you didn't mind being in front of a camera. I know that, at the time, you tried to hide your body and you didn't like how the clothes fit, but when you compare that to how you feel now, wouldn't it be nice?

Things started going downhill in college. You went to Duke University in the Fall of 2007, and you had a terrible time at first. You had a lot of trouble making friends in your "Arts Focus" dorm, your roommate wasn't around much, your boyfriend was at a different college. You joined an a Cappella group and a Bible study, but you still had trouble making relationships "stick."You always have had this trouble, though...it is somewhat of a "cross to bear." You knew that everyone is supposed to make 500 friends the first week of college and make big, drunken mistakes in seedy frat houses in the middle of the night. These memories allegedly last forever. You knew you were supposed to be finding that foretold "college experience" everyone told you about and you saw in the movies.  But you couldn't find it...or at least it didn't look how you imagined. As a result of your unhappiness and loneliness, you ate vending machine food almost every day alone in your dorm room (Snapples, Bugles, Ruffles, Poptarts, Fritos galore). The weekends were cause for celebration because you were actually interacting with another human being that you knew liked you and you didn't have to "try" to interact with (your boyfriend and future husband), so you ate like a queen (Bojangles, Cookout, Pizza, Sweet Tea galore). You exercised much less because you were studying and writing papers diligently.

Same thing for sophomore year, except now you had friends (your best friends that you still have). With friends came constantly eating out, having desserts, drinking. And still much less exercise due to the increasing school work (and laziness). And the weekends were still cause for celebration with junk food.

And the weight crept up on you over the months and years. But it still wasn't cause for concern, although you had to retire some of your high school clothes. Remember?

When you got to the end of your sophomore year. You had gone up a few sizes (to size 12 now). But at least you were happier than your size 8 and size 10 days during freshman year. Maybe gaining a little weight is proof that you're happier, right?

Well, you lost about 30 pounds when you went to Greece for 10 weeks during the summer. Every day you were up at 7 and worked on a farm until 5. You were physically active all day every day for 10 weeks. And you lost 30 pounds (at least!), even though you helped yourself to delicious Greek food and lots of wine and Rum & Cokes. You looked so good, and everyone complimented you. You loved being able to fit in the size 10 jeans you bought in Turkey, and you felt amazing. Remember that?

But then you fell back into old habits. And the weight crept back up. And you were back to the size 12's and sometimes a size 14 if you were really being honest with yourself. Clothes didn't fit as well, you definitely wanted to hide your body with bigger, baggier clothes, avoided pictures unless completely necessary. Somewhere along the way you gave up on ever reaching the weight of your high school years...you forgot how it felt to be relatively carefree about your body, you forgot how it felt to exercise regularly, you forgot what a normal meal should look like (hint: it's not all fried food all the time). You forgot how it felt to have clothes that fit, to sit down without worrying about your tummy rolls, to pose for a photograph without consciously stretching your neck so you wouldn't have a double chin.

You lost about 20 pounds by doing Calorie Counting and exercising 2-3 times per week senior year. And you looked pretty good. Solidly in size 12 clothes again. You graduated from college and got engaged at this weight. You also decided that you wanted to be a Speech-Language Pathologist and started going to UNCG to be able to get into graduate school. This was a very exciting time. It was at this weight that you got married to your best friend and the man that you were (and still are) completely head-over-heels in love with (and had been since you were still in junior sizes and seeing a pediatrician). It was at this weight that you went to Hawaii on your honeymoon with your new husband and soaked up paradise (but still wanted to hide your body and avoid taking pictures together). How heartbreaking that during these most key parts of your life, you wanted to disappear or take yourself out of making memories because your clothes were too tight or your double chin might show up at the wrong angle. Remember?

Then you went to graduate school to get your Master's in Speech-Language Pathology. Dreams coming true. You had no time to cook, no time to exercise, because grad school kicked your butt. And it was progressively having to use a bigger shoe because your butt got a little bigger. You had your husband bring home fast food every night for dinner, unless you made some frozen meal that was packed with sodium. You ate your feelings, and convinced yourself you needed ice cream after that exam, or celebrated things by going out to eat and pulling out all the stops (that means appetizer, full entree, substitutions with fries and chips, and dessert). Still no exercise. You graduated this past week after two years of butt-kicking. You start your new job at a skilled nursing facility on June 16. You move into a new house in June. 

So we have finally arrived to this present day. We've walked through your life's journey. You weigh 202.6 pounds, you think you are a size 14 but you don't know because you avoid buying clothes for yourself. Your knees hurt all the time. Your cholesterol is "very high" according to a recent health screening, and you are 24. You untag almost every picture of yourself on Facebook. Your Facebook profile pictures are all at least 1 year old. You are ashamed of your body, you can fit into probaby 40% of your clothes, you don't want your husband to touch you, you eat what you want because you think it can't get any worse. But it is getting worse. REALITY CHECK: it has been getting worse for the past 7 years. That is 7 years of your life--possibly the best 7 years of your life--and you have been ballooning up to a point where you don't even enjoy your body, your health, your relationships with others. You seem to only enjoy food. That's sad, isn't it?

Those pictures make your skin crawl, your blood boil, your eyes well up with hot tears, your heart say, "How did I get here?" while simultaneously saying, "Whatever." Why don't you try to enjoy things the way you used to? Let's try to NOT to revolve life around food. Let's try to be a healthy 24-year-old with lots to look forward to and lots to do.

Let's try to lose the weight without the weight being the goal. You are not looking forward to a number. You are looking forward to gaining feelings of confidence, control, and carefree and losing feelings of helplessness, shame, and guilt. You love food now, but let's not have it be the only thing you love. Try loving being active, or being healthy. Try loving your style, your husband, and your job. Love a new hobby. Love food less--it is a means of sustenance, not a way of life (at least for you). Let's just try to see what happens when we think a little more about loving our body by giving it healthier things to digest, doing healthier things to challenge it, giving it wonderful things to think about rather than wonderful things to eat. Just try and see what happens, and document along the way how you feel, how you act, how you look. Just try--I bet things will get better, and I bet if you write it all down you will never forget how you did it, how it made you feel, and you will never go back.

Pick yourself up by the bootstraps and let's do this together--your head, your heart, and your tummy. And keep track of everything (including the kitchen sink) along the way.

Love,

Hannah (myself)